


A Promise by Starlight

by WrittenUnderTheBridge



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Elf Reader, Fluff, Gender-neutral Reader, Helm's Deep, Hurt/Comfort, It's Soft, Post-Battle of the Hornburg | Battle of Helm's Deep, Romance, probably way more hugging than is typical for elves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27652253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenUnderTheBridge/pseuds/WrittenUnderTheBridge
Summary: On the eve of Haldir's departure for Helm's Deep, he makes a promise to always return to you. When he doesn't return with what's left of his company, you think he has broken that promise.
Relationships: Haldir of Lothlórien/Reader
Kudos: 32





	A Promise by Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> Words in italics are Sindarin Elvish. Translations are at the end of the story.

You were always nervous the night before Haldir had to leave for his duties as Marchwarden but tonight you were truly afraid. You had heard of the army Saruman had built in Isengard. The thought of thousands of Uruk-Hai descending upon Rohan—a land whose defenses had been worn down so much already—made your blood run cold. Elrond, Celeborn, and Galadriel had met to discuss what could be done and it was decided that a company of elves should be sent to Helm’s Deep to aid the people of Rohan in their time of need. As Marchwarden of Lórien, Haldir was to lead this army. You knew he was a strong fighter, but your heart was still heavy with worry. He knew you feared the worst when he left which is why he was currently waiting out on the _talan_ outside your home.

You’d both developed a sort of ritual for nights before he left on some dangerous errand. You went out onto the _talan_ to meet him. His gaze was fixed on the forest below as the sun set on the golden leaves of the mallorn trees. It was a beautiful sight, one you would always associate with these sweet evenings, tinged as they were by the bitterness of goodbyes. Haldir turned his gaze to you, extending an arm in invitation. You gladly accepted, allowing yourself to be swept up in a gentle embrace. You lay your head on his chest, wrapping an arm around his waist, your other hand coming to rest flat over his heart. His own arms were wrapped protectively around you, one hand cradling your head to his chest, fingers woven gently in your hair.

“You know I wish I could stay, don’t you?” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “My heart would have me stay here, forsaking my duties if it meant I could remain in this moment with you, _meleth nín._ ”

“ _Iston_ ,” you breathed. “But you are too noble to disobey your orders.”

He chuckled softly and let his fingers run idly through your hair. You basked in the affection, trying not to think about tomorrow when you would watch this sunset alone. You felt his cheek rest warm on the top of your head. You stayed like that until finally the sun sank below the horizon and the first stars started to twinkle in the darkening sky. Where the forest below had been golden with the setting sun just moments before, it now shone with a cold silver light as if it too were full of stars. You tipped your head to look up at Haldir, his blue eyes meeting your own pleading gaze. He leaned in so his lips were just a hair's breadth from yours.

“ _Gi melin_ ,” he whispered against your lips before capturing them in a kiss so soft and full of meaning it left you breathless. His arm tightened around your waist, pulling you ever closer as the hand which had been tangled in your hair cupped your face, his thumb tracing lightly over your cheekbone. You felt something wet on your face and realized with no small amount of embarrassment that tears were rolling slowly down your cheeks.

He broke the kiss and rested his forehead on yours, nudging your nose with his, bringing a soft smile to your lips.

“ _Avo drasto, meleth nín_ ,” he said. “I will always return to you.”

“ _Gwestog_?”

“You have my word.”

You pulled him back down into another kiss and gasped in surprise when he easily swept you off your feet and carried you to the bed. He laid you down gently, his arms bracketing you on either side as he kissed you. He trailed kisses across your cheeks and down your neck, murmuring reassurances and sweet words between each one. You could feel the tears welling in your eyes again; he loved you so deeply.

“Haldir,” you said quietly, trying to fight the tight, broken sound in your voice.

He laid next to you and gathered you close. You buried your face in the side of his neck, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm yourself. He had always returned to you before. He would do so again. You had no reason to doubt him. You pushed aside the voice at the back of your mind that said _this time will be different_. 

“Sleep, _meleth_ ,” Haldir whispered as he stroked your back. “Tonight, all is well.”

You found yourself drifting into sleep, despite your worries. You could feel his heart beating beneath your cheek and it was as he had said: all was well. If only for tonight.

* * *

When you awoke, the light was the dim grey color of pre-dawn. You found Haldir was already awake and was watching you with a soft expression. Your head was still pillowed on his chest and you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Soon you would have to prepare for the day but you would stay in his arms for as long as you were allowed.

The time for his departure came much too quickly for your liking. You sat on the edge of the bed, watching him prepare to leave. He had not yet put on his armor and his hair was loose around his face. He started to pull it back into a braid when you stopped him.

“Here. Let me,” you said. He sat down so you could stand behind him to braid. You ran your fingers through his hair to smooth it out, feeling him relax under your touch. You worked steadily, pulling small slivers of silky hair across one another until you’d created a neat braid that kept his hair out of his face. It was a little tighter than he normally braided it, but you figured that couldn’t hurt given he was going to battle. You pressed a soft kiss to his temple when you were finished with his hair.

“ _Hannon le, meleth_ ,” he said as he stood to finish dressing.

Once his armor was on, he wrapped a red cloak around his shoulders, pinning it in place. He stood before you looking every bit the part of Marchwarden. You reached up to fuss with his cloak, straightening it thought it didn’t need straightening.

“There,” you said, satisfied with the positioning. You started to step away but Haldir slipped his arms around you gently, pulling you into a hug. Your cheek rested on the cool metal of his breastplate.

“I must go,” he said regretfully. “I will say farewell to you here while we have the time. And I will promise you this: I will return.”

“ _Faro vae_.”

He smiled softly at you, kissed your forehead, and then he was gone.

You watched him go, heading toward the heart of Caras Galadhon to meet with his company.

“ _Gi melin_ ,” you whispered as he passed out of view.

* * *

You had known when he left there wouldn’t be news for several days but even so, you couldn’t keep your mind from it. You wondered if Haldir’s company had arrived at Helm’s Deep in time, if the battle had already started, how bad things were, if the rumors of the size of Isengard’s army held any truth. For four days you waited for news, hardly able to sleep and only able to eat enough to keep your strength. Every part of you felt tense, like a held breath before plunging into cold water.

Finally, on the evening of the fourth day, there was news. You were lying on a chaise on the _talan_ outside your home, watching the sun set over the trees and wishing desperately that Haldir was there with you when you saw Orophin approaching. 

“ _Na vedui_ ,” you said to yourself as you rose to meet him. “ _Mae govannen_ , Orophin.”

It was only after you spoke that you realized it would not be a happy meeting. You could see Orophin’s fair face was pained as he came closer. You felt the blood drain from your face as fear gripped your heart.

He explained everything he had heard about the battle and Haldir’s fate. There had been many lives lost, he told you, but the battle had been won in the end. Haldir, however, had not lived to see the victory. He had been killed as they retreated to the keep.

You were too shocked to cry just yet. It didn’t feel real. You dropped to the chaise you had been lying on when Orophin arrived. The sun was slipping below the trees just as it had done the night before Haldir left for what you realized would be the last time. It was as this thought entered your mind that you felt the tears burning in your eyes. Never again would you feel the comfort of his embrace. Never again would you be able to tell him you loved him. You would have to face all the long years left in your life alone.

The strangled cry that tore itself from your throat couldn’t be stopped. Orophin—not usually one to be physically affectionate with you—sat beside you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You welcomed the contact and leaned into it, burying your face in his shoulder. You felt suddenly very selfish and a wave of shame took hold of you. You had lost your lover, but Orophin had lost his brother and here he was, holding back his own grief to comfort you in yours.

You pulled yourself from his arms and told him you needed to be alone for awhile, an excuse that was half-hearted at best. Alone might have been the worst place for you to be.

For weeks, you spent every night curled in the middle of the bed. You cried yourself to sleep more times than you could count, only slipping into sleep when the exhaustion of grief finally forced you to. Even then, your sleep was filled with evil dreams, many of them in which you watched the love of your life die while you stood powerless to stop it. You often woke up shaking, your breathing shallow.

After weeks of this pain, you became desperate for one night of peaceful sleep. In this desperation, an idea came to you. You took one of Haldir’s cloaks from the wardrobe and wrapped yourself in the soft, grey material. You curled up in the bed, enveloped in Haldir’s warm scent and feeling comfort for the first time since his departure.

Every night you did this and the dreams became less frequent. Gradually the tears stopped, though your heart still hurt as badly as it had when the news of his death was fresh. You would never stop missing him. You would always love him.

* * *

One morning you awoke with a start but for once it was not because of a dream. You could hear a horn blowing in the distance, signalling a return from battle. No army had set out since Haldir and his company had gone to Helm’s Deep. The rational part of you told you to stay where you were. It couldn’t be him. He was gone. The rest of you was filled with a reckless hope that set you tearing through the forest toward the sound of the horns, Haldir’s cloak still wrapped about your shoulders. When you arrived you were met with the sight of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel talking to someone. A grey horse wearing the bridle and saddle of the Rohirrim stood nearby. Galadriel—hearing you approach—turned to you with a soft smile, light and happiness shining in her eyes. As she moved aside, you saw him. You blinked, feeling sure your eyes were cheated or a cruel trick was being played on you.

The way he looked at you couldn’t have been a trick though. You rushed past the Lord and Lady and launched yourself into his arms. He grunted in what sounded like pain even as he caught you firmly about the waist and held you tight, ducking his head to your shoulder.

“ _Goheno nin_ ,” he said, his face pressed into the side of your neck.

“There is nothing to forgive, Haldir,” you said, leaning back so you could look at him. You traced his face with your fingertips, cupping his cheek once you were satisfied he was really there. You leaned in to kiss him and the rest of the world seemed to fall away. He kissed you back ardently, slipping a hand into your hair and tracing your bottom lip with his tongue. You sighed into the kiss, letting him in and pressing yourself as close to him as possible.

You heard a soft laugh behind you and remembered that Lady Galadriel was still there. You were much too happy to feel embarrassed about this little display, however. You broke the kiss and rested your forehead against his, nuzzling his nose softly with your own, the radiant smile never leaving your face.

“Let’s go home. You look exhausted,” you said as you took his hand.

“It’s been a long journey and I will be glad to wash it away and rest. The wound has still not fully healed,” he said as you turned to leave. “Thank you, my Lady,” he said, addressing Galadriel. She nodded once knowingly and you set off with Haldir’s hand in your own.

“She saw me from afar,” he explained once you were on the path toward home. “I was caught off guard, attacked from behind. They must have thought me dead and for that I cannot fault them. I’m sure I looked it,” he said. “But I had not died and Lady Galadriel sent word for them to come and retrieve me.”

“And here I was so sure you were gone. Orophin said it was so! We did not think to speak with Galadriel and we were foolish not to. We might have been spared weeks of pain,” you said, remembering all the long nights of bitter tears and hopelessness.

“May those weeks be nothing but a bad dream. I’m here now, _meleth nín_.” He kissed the top of your head.

You climbed the steps to your _talan_ with Haldir right behind you. When you looked behind you, you found his face twisted in a grimace of pain. He’d said his wound hadn’t healed but you wondered just how badly he was hurt. You sat him down on the edge of the bed and immediately went to heat water for the bath. While it was heating, you gently stripped off his tunic, careful not to disturb the bandages wrapped around his side.

“Can I remove these?” you asked, gesturing to the bandages. “I am grateful to the men of Rohan for keeping you alive and healing you well enough to come home, but I think our own healers will be able to heal you fully.”

He nodded and you began to unwrap the strips of material wrapped around his body. You could tell the wound was deep even though it had healed fairly well over the last month. You tried not to imagine how badly it must have hurt.

“Come,” you said, getting up and making your way to the bathroom, “you need a warm bath and sleep.”

Haldir removed the rest of his clothes and slipped into the water while you went to get towels. When you returned you found him lying in the foamy water, his head tipped back against the edge of the tub, looking moments away from sleep. You smiled fondly at him and sat on a low stool by the edge of the bath, dipping a soft cloth into the soapy water to wash his shoulders and chest. He let out a soft hum of contentment as you slowly cleaned the grime of battle from his skin.

When that was done, you poured warm water over his hair, working your fingers through it gently until it was free of knots. You worked the soap into his hair, massaging slowly. As you rinsed his hair, you noticed he seemed to be asleep. You smoothed his hair back and pressed a soft kiss to his temple. You stood to go find a clean tunic and pants for him when he reached out to take your hand.

You leaned down to lightly kiss his lips. “I’ll just be a moment.” You came back wearing your own sleep clothes. You helped dry and dress him, taking care to wrap his wound with fresh bandages and healing herbs.

“You need rest, _meleth nín_ .” You herded him toward the bed, slipping under the covers and settling yourself against the pillows. “ _Tolo hí_ ,” you said as he sank into the mattress beside you. He obliged, moving closer and pulling you to him.

“I couldn’t seem to find any rest in any of the halls of Edoras and I think now I know it was not only because of my wound. I cannot seem to sleep soundly without you close to me, _meleth nín_.”

“Nor I without you,” you said, suddenly feeling the weight of weeks of restless nights pressing down upon you. “I slept with your cloak for a blanket because it hurt too much to be parted from you.”

“I noticed you were wearing it when you came to the gate,” he said. You could hear the smile in his voice. He then took on a much more serious tone: “I would have you never be parted from me again. I do not wish to be the cause of such pain.”

“You promised you would always return to me and you have kept that promise. I know you will hold true to this one too.” You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of his heart, letting it lull you to sleep knowing you would have peaceful dreams that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:  
> meleth nín - my love  
> Iston - I know  
> Gi melin - I love you  
> Avo drasto, meleth nín - Don’t worry, my love  
> Gwestog? - Do you promise?  
> Hannon le, meleth - Thank you, love  
> Faro vae - Good hunting  
> Na video - At last  
> Mae govannen - Well met  
> Goheno nin - Forgive me  
> Tolo hí - Come here
> 
> A note on the translations: Most of my translations come from the [realelvish.net Sindarin phrasebook](https://realelvish.net/phrasebooks/sindarin/woodelf/#top). I also used the [Sindarin-English dictionary on ambar-eldaron.com](https://www.ambar-eldaron.com/english/downloads/sindarin-english.pdf) If I’ve gotten something wrong, please let me know!


End file.
